‘The Family Stone’ At 20: The Most Divisive Christmas Movie Of This Century

Initially released at the end of a short, surprising boom period for 21st century holiday classics, The Family Stone may be the most divisively beloved Christmas movie of the past 20 years. (It celebrates that anniversary in mid-December.) This comedy-drama about Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker), an uptight professional woman stymied by the insular and judgmental family of her boyfriend Everett (Dermot Mulroney) when he brings her home for the Christmas, has the broad outlines of holiday-themed farce. Its recent trending on Prime Video conforms to that image, too, entering the streaming charts alongside its contemporaries like Elf and Love Actually. But its edges are jagged, most of its characters are spiky, and its point of view is sometimes deeply strange. Some people really hate this movie, and it’s weirdly easier to see why 20 years on, even after its oddness has had plenty of time to settle.

Part of what’s so messy and intriguing about The Family Stone is its genuine lack of center, which makes it both egalitarian as a family story and odd as an actual narrative. The ostensibly entry point should probably be Meredith, the outsider whose neuroses we’re let in on early in the picture as it cuts back and forth between the couple’s journey and the rest of the family arriving at home (and talking shit about Meredith behind her back). But it could also be Everett, the golden-boy actual member of the family, or his brother Ben (Luke Wilson), the only one in the family who takes an immediate shine to Meredith – or matriarch Sybil (Diane Keaton), by virtue of being played by the most famous member of the cast.

It’s Keaton who places The Family Stone on a continuum of a certain type of 2000s-era family-centric comedy, and it’s her character who also helps knock it off-kilter. It’s easy to assume (and would have been easier, following Something’s Gotta Give) that Keaton is playing a variation on the independent-minded but sometimes dithering older woman out of a Nancy Meyers movie. But writer-director Thomas Bezucha affords Sybil a surprising amount of self-regard – she’s not a classically passive-aggressive Movie Mom, and pretty quickly turns as blithely dismissive of Meredith as youngest sibling Amy (Rachel McAdams) – even as her returning breast cancer is gradually revealed to make her actions more understandable. It’s like a realistic version of a Meyers fantasy, where those outside the inner circle of family are actually allowed to see Keaton’s character as a little smug.

There’s also a privacy to Sybil that makes her not quite the main character of the story. At the same time, Meredith isn’t always portrayed as the relatable striver who’s just trying a little too hard. She’s genuinely unpleasant, slow to smile, and seemingly baffled by the niceties of non-businesslike interactions. Her awkward, stiff interactions with the family hang in the air, making the discomfort much less superficial, and meaner in its way, than the overt slapstick-and-cringe combo of something like Meet the Parents (which was, when this movie first came out, the biggest comedy franchise going). The rom-com aspect of an uptight career gal unexpectedly bonding with her boyfriend’s laid back stoner brother is enormously appealing, benefiting from one of Wilson’s most charming performances, but the movie really makes everyone work to get to that point. McAdams delivers the quietest, sharpest pinprick of all when Meredith, frustrated by Amy’s refusal to be won over, says that she doesn’t care if Amy likes her or not. “Yes you do,” Amy says, and McAdams’ matter-of-fact delivery stings.

This capped a remarkable two-year run for McAdams, where she also starred in Mean Girls, The Notebook, Wedding Crashers, and Red Eye, adding this family drama to an eclectic batch of human-scale stories. It also brings her full circle, in a way, playing a grown-up mean girl whose nitpicky hostility is allowed to set the tone in her family’s assessment of Meredith. Even when the family chastises Amy for her chilliness – she’s astonishingly impolite to Meredith, even in the latter’s caricatured and unlikable form – it’s in a forgiving way. Bezucha is at his best capturing the way that familial closeness can also form a kind of clubby, exclusionary barrier to anyone unlucky enough to make a late introduction.

Accurately portraying that quality, and inviting the audience into it but not fully embracing them, is also what makes The Family Stone so boldly off-putting within the holiday canon. It’s probably exacerbated by some actual weaknesses in the writing, where story turns happen abruptly, emotions jackknife with startling abruptness, and characters sometimes appear to take turns feeling one way or the other about each other, rather than doing the hard work of arranging a more complex group dynamic. But there’s also a lack of speechifying and tidy dramatic catharsis in the movie that feels like a tribute to the unruliness of even the tightest-knit families. There’s particularly honorable restraint in (spoilers ahead for a two-decade-old movie) managing to film a bittersweet postscript set after the death of Keaton’s Sybil without having a single character actually mention her death.

That makes it feel more poignant now, following the real-life death of Diane Keaton earlier this year. Bezucha has mentioned that he was working on writing a sequel to the film, and hopes to proceed with the project – which of course would not have included Keaton’s character by design, but now feels particularly well-suited to incorporate that real-life loss into it. It might be an unusually strong candidate for a decades-later sequel, because little about these characters feels completely set or settled. The Family Stone, as a movie and as a collection of fictional people, sometimes feel a little incomplete, even mystifying in some of the offhanded or undisclosed details. After all, how well can we know any family that’s not our own?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! (At least, that’s what Andy Williams promised.) The holidays are a time to celebrate with family, friends, food, and, let’s not forget, fun things to watch. Whether you’re huddled up with the whole family in your living room or cozying up under the covers with your tablet, let Decider be your guide to all things festive this holiday season.

Jesse Hassenger (@rockmarooned) is a writer living in Brooklyn. He’s a regular contributor to The A.V. Club, Polygon, and The Week, among others. He podcasts at www.sportsalcohol.com, too.

Stream The Family Stone on Prime Video