Stream It Or Skip It?

New romantic comedy Maintenance Required (now streaming on Amazon Prime Video) is perhaps notable for its cast of stars on the verge of breaking through: Madelaine Petsch (Riverdale) leads, Jacob Scipio (the last two Bad Boys films) co-leads, and Katy O’Brian (Love Lies Bleeding) and Madison Bailey (Outer Banks) support. The debut feature from director Lacey Uhlemeyer is a sort of a Romeo and Juliet set in the world of auto-repair facilities, with would-be facesmoochers working for rival garages. Cute? Or just cutesy? And can it make use of its assemblage of rising talent? Let’s look under the hood and find out, shall we?

The Gist: Charlie O’Malley (Petsch) runs the cleanest mechanic shop in the history of the horseless carriage. There are scenes in this movie where she works all day in a white tank top and by the time she and her buddy employees hit the bar for a drink, there isn’t a smudge on her, and their fingernails are remarkably ungrimy. Sure, they could change their clothes and wash up off-screen, but do you want to give this movie the benefit of the doubt? Depends if we like these people, right? Charlie inherited the shop in Oakland from her dearly departed dad, and he taught her everything she knows about fixing cars. Kam (O’Brian) turns wrenches with her and Izzy (Bailey) is the receptionist and the Invisible Man apparently scrubs every nook and cranny in the place with a toothbrush when we’re not looking. 

Kam and Izzy are the standard-issue rom-com supporting pals who admonish Charlie for her deadass sex life. See, Charlie’d rather go home and climb beneath Marge every night ifyaknowwhatImean – except that Marge is her dad’s vintage Ford Bronco rimshot. Her only interaction with other humans is a rando on an auto-repair forum known as BULLNOSE who also has a vintage Bronco, and they constantly DM each other their thoughts and dreams when they’re not spitballing how to fix flywheel pinvalves or whatever. “No names, no photos, only cars” is the rule; Charlie prefers lonerism for no good reason other than because the plot needs it to be that way. Her no good reason? “People are unreliable. Cars aren’t,” she says, tossing out a grossly transparently false truism and immediately losing those of us who are routinely forced to sink thousands into car repairs, NOT THAT I’M ANGRY ABOUT IT. 

Anyway. We do meet BULLNOSE, who also wears a suspiciously clean white tank top while he gently whispers Notting Hill references to his project Bronco. His real name is Beau (Scipio), and his day job is being a corporate stooge for Miller Boys, a national chain of auto-repair garages. The dopey CEO (Jim Gaffigan) orders Beau to open up a new location, and – do I really need to go on here? Dollars to doughnuts you’re already picking up what this movie’s putting down. So yes, Miller Boys sets up shop kitty-corner from Charlie’s garage, fully intent on Wal-Marting her humble business to death. What with one thing (Izzy starting a nail salon in the reception area) and another (Beau’s gay bestie wanting a manicure), Charlie and Beau meet and hit it off, thus setting up a succession of reveals that we can see coming all the way from McMurdo Station. So will troo luv trump capitalism? It probably wouldn’t in reality, but I don’t need to remind you that Maintenance Required ain’t reality.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: You’ve Got Mail has become You’ve Got a DM on the Highly Specific Topical Discussion Forum. 

Performance Worth Watching: This is a Katy O’Brian Appreciation Space: Go watch Love Lies Bleeding and appreciate Maintenance Required – in which she should steal at least a scene or two, if the blah script didn’t fail her – for the profile boost that’ll hopefully help land her juicier roles.

Memorable Dialogue: Prepare to wake the neighbors with audible groans when you hear Charlie’s life philosophy: “I much prefer wheels to heels.” 

Sex and Skin: None. I mean, whaddaya think this is, Titane? 

Our Take: I regret to report that the title Maintenance Required is a self-own. It offers a lot of up-and-coming talent in the service of a down-and-out screenplay featuring off-the-rack characters and a template-plot where you could sub out the garage for a hair salon, board game shop, coffeeshop, gym, cough bookstore cough, or pretty much anything with neat little details that can be exploited for “clever” double-entendres, in this case, “Seems like you got me overheated.” (Did anyone say “Please crack my binding!” in You’ve Got Mail? I can’t remember.)

Also in this case, “overheated” is mistaken for “tepid as yesterday’s bisque.” Petsch and Scipio’s on-screen romance needs a new set of spark plugs and cables, and the starter’s on the fritz too, he said, flogging himself with an old set of rusty jumper cables. They participate in auto-mechanic cosplay, then shift to generic plastic made-in-China rom-com tropes. They’re attractive people pretending to be awkward, because if they weren’t awkward, they’d be too attractive to be relatable. This isn’t the actors’ fault – the screenplay’s a dud, with leaden dialogue yielding tin emotions, and it’s executed with little sense of pace, tension or comic timing. The outcome is never in doubt, so the only question is how, and that’s not at all inspired. 

Think about how you could pep this up: A scene in which Beau and Charlie team up to grind the connectors off a heavily oxidized suspension, sparks flying, phallic tools and cans of lubricant lying around, their hands slippery with grease, smudges of oil on cheeks and biceps and bosoms. Their eyes meet. Bolt meets nut. Corny, sure, but at least it would generate a little sexual energy. This movie doesn’t seem to know that you need to put the key in the ignition in the first place. 

Our Call: The wan and charmless Maintenance Required stalls out before it even gets out of its parking spot, he said, kicking the jack out from under the car so it falls on him, crushing his skull. SKIP IT.

How To Watch Maintenance Required

The new rom-com Maintenance Required is an Amazon original movie, and it’s now streaming exclusively for Prime Video members.

If you aren’t a Prime Video subscriber yet, you can get started with a 30-day Amazon Prime free trial, including Prime perks like the Prime Video streaming service, free two-day shipping, exclusive deals, and more. After the free trial, Amazon Prime costs $14.99/month or $139/year.

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John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.