Scheana Shay Doesn’t Know If Her Marriage Would’ve Survived If She Shared Husband Brock Davies’ Affair On ‘Vanderpump Rules’: “I Wasn’t Ready To Face It”
Whether you love her or hate her, Scheana Shay has been giving main character energy ever since she walked through the doors (or back alley) of SUR in the first season of Vanderpump Rules. Having joined the show as the former mistress of Eddie Cibrian (Brandi Glanville’s ex-husband), Shay was quickly—and dare I say, unfairly now that I’ve read her side of the story—nicknamed a “home-wrecking whore” by her fellow castmates. What we saw of Shay through the 11 seasons that followed was one side of her quirky, often misunderstood personality, but in her new memoir My Good Side, the reality TV icon is opening up like never before, sharing the good (as gold), the bad, and everything in between.
In Chapter 16 of the book, which hit stands this week, Shay reveals that her husband, Brock Davies, had an affair while she was pregnant with their daughter, Summer Moon, and didn’t confess his infidelity until years later, around the time that Tom Sandoval‘s affair with Rachel “Raquel” Leviss was exposed. Fans, of course, were quick to accuse Shay of being hypocritical for not opening up about Davies’ affair in Vanderpump Rules Season 11, all while Ariana Madix was adjusting to her new life post-Scandoval. While Shay “absolutely gets” the criticism, she explained that she needed more time to process the news and figure out the best decision for her and their daughter.
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“I don’t know that our marriage would have survived it,” Shay said when asked how she thought things would’ve unfolded if she had shared it on the show. “Season 11 did need to be focused on Ariana and her rebuilding and her story. Had I come forward and been like, ‘Hey, me too,’ it would have been so bad. It would have looked like, ‘Oh, there’s Scheana trying to make Scandoval about Scheana.’ That was the last thing I wanted to do.”
Shay acknowledged that it took her a “very long time” to fully forgive her husband, whom she legally wed in 2021 and married again a year later in Mexico. “What I’ve gone through, what I’ve overcome, what I have been able to forgive, that took a lot of strength that I didn’t know I was capable of,” she said. “But I will do anything for my daughter.”
When Shay stopped by our studio, she also spoke about her relationship with former boss Lisa Vanderpump, her impressive dating history, and what she hopes fans will take away from her book. Check out the full interview below.
DECIDER: I’m so excited to talk to you about your book, My Good Side. I couldn’t put it down. We learned so much about you. Why was now the perfect time to share your story with the world?
SCHEANA SHAY: I have had a running note in my phone for about a decade. “One day, when I write a book, I’m gonna say this, I’m going to say that.” About a year and a half, almost two years ago, I had a meeting with my agent. They asked, what were some of my career goals? I’ve just always felt a calling to just share my lived experiences with the entire world. Not normal, but it’s just kind of my thing. I felt like with the show, you only get one side and I want to show it all. I want to show the good side and all the others. But it just felt like the time was right. I know that it takes a long time from the day you start writing it to the day it’s actually out. I mean, clearly it’s been over a year and a half that I’ve been working on this. It just felt like the right time. I’m like, “Why am I gonna wait for Vanderpump Rules to be done to write a book? This show could go on forever.” Clearly, it’s still going on, just without us. It just finally felt right.
There were so many little fun facts about you that I never knew, like your great aunt played on the real-life League of Their Own team, you skipped third grade, and you played for an all-boys baseball team. What fun fact do you think will surprise people the most?
Oh, gosh, there’s so many. I don’t know, to be honest. I think a lot of people didn’t know much about my childhood and just being half Mexican and how I grew up. I know that’s something that people are like, “I had no idea.” All of chapter three, the Hooters lawsuit, so many of my close friends are like, “I didn’t know this about you.” It was a lifetime ago. I was like 18 years old when this happened. So that was one for sure.
That one was wild. I was like, “Wait, how have I been watching Vanderpump Rules for this long and never knew that this happened?”
I know, and we filmed at a Hooters once for Jax or Brittany, one of their birthdays, and I was like, “Am I allowed to be here?” I was like, “The lawsuit’s settled, but…”
So crazy! You started your career as an actress. My entire generation loved you as the iconic Pizza Girl in the Jonas Brothers show. I know you recently reunited with them. What was that like? And have you shown the episode to Summer Moon?
I just did recently. I don’t think it’s on my Instagram. It’s definitely on my TikTok. And she’s like, “What? Is that you?” She’s like, “Mommy, your voice is so different.” I didn’t realize how high pitched my voice used to be. I was a little concerned because I’m like, “Why is it so raspy now?” But I think just with age it changes and I’ve gotten it looked at, it’s fine. Just a little acid reflux, but that comes with age as well. She loved it. It was so fun for her. Next is Victorious. Then after I show her the things that I’ve done, I want to do a Hannah Montana rewatch with her, just so I can rewatch it. But seeing the guys at JonasCon, it was so fun. We did this show a lifetime ago. It was forever ago. They were kids. It was so much fun to be there with all the fans and then people who, that day you see them in real time making the connection like, “Wait, Scheana from Vanderpump Rules is the pizza girl? What?”
I have to say, you have one incredible dating roster. I know everyone wants to talk about John Mayer and Jesse Metcalfe, but I want to ask about Jesse McCartney. Was this Beautiful Soul-era Jesse McCartney? What can you say about your relationship with him?
This was 2009, 2010. I only remember that because we were neighbors for a year. I lived at this building, I think I talked about this in the book, called the Fontenoy. It was on Whitley, just north of Hollywood. Jesse lived up the hill just a tiny bit. We’re both Chargers fans, so it became a thing where on Sundays I would bring donuts or bagels over to the boys and we would watch football, or we would go in the other room and do that too … There was one weekend where I was with Jesse McCartney and Shemar Moore in Vegas the same weekend. I was with one one night and one the next night. But yeah, I was like 23, 24?
We all live vicariously through you in this book. You also said you dated two actors from The Notebook, but you didn’t name them in the book. Can you share anything else about these two actors?
We’re just gonna leave that up to the imagination. There are a lot of people in that movie.
It’s really interesting to hear you talk about everything that happened with Eddie Cibrian, and how you felt like Brock’s affair was your karma for that. Why did you decide to open up about that now? Because you probably could’ve taken that to the grave and no one would ever know.
I could have. That would have been truly living a lie, and I’m not a liar. I kept it private for so long to protect my daughter. But then when I started writing the book, it was actually the first chapter that was written. Let’s just put nails to the keyboard, and let’s just see if it fits in the story, if we don’t need it. The book sold with a very vague description of what this chapter could look like. So I’m like, “OK, then we don’t need to put it in the book.” Really, no one knew. I didn’t have that many people to go to for advice. It was my manager, my sister-in-law, and my best guy friend. Brock eventually had opened up to one of his friends and they were like, “Do not let her put that in the book.” And I was like, “Well, it is my story, and let’s weigh the pros and cons.”
After the book sold, there was a leak. There was a blind item. I was like, “I guarantee the day this book sells, that will resurface.” It did. It made its way onto Reddit. It was only a matter of time. I’m not gonna let that be the reason I put it in the book because I can deny it. Unless the girl comes forward and has some sort of proof, I can just say, “That’s bullshit.” But when we really started writing the book and putting it all together, I was like, “OK, so let’s say Chapter 16 doesn’t make it in, or we skirt around it and put in a vague description of what we were going through.” I’m going from Scandoval to Vanderpump Rules getting rebooted. I feel like I’ve lived a whole life in between then. What I’ve gone through, what I’ve overcome, what I have been able to forgive, that took a lot of strength that I didn’t know I was capable of. But I will do anything for my daughter. If that means forgiving my husband for something he did years prior and keeping our family together, I was like, “Let me see if I can do it. I don’t know if I can.” I always said, “If I’m ever cheated on, I’m out, I’m done, walking away.” Then it happened, and it’s not so black and white. So, I really had to look at our life together. I believe he’s never done it again. I believe he will never do it again, but we had built such a beautiful life together. We’re raising this amazing daughter together and he has proven to me what an amazing partner he is to me, what an amazing father he is to Summer, and so I said I will do everything I can to work towards a path of forgiveness.
It took me a very long time to say the words, “I forgive you.” But I did. We’ve done couples therapy, back in individual therapy. I think part of putting it in the book, also, was because I wanted to be authentic. I wanted to tell my full story, my full truth. And hopefully, some people can relate to it. Just because there is infidelity, it doesn’t always mean the relationship has to end. For some, absolutely. Ariana? Get out, walk away. But for me, this guy challenges me in ways I’ve never been challenged. He supports me in ways I’ve never been supported. I don’t want to throw our life away because you made a bad decision a few times when you were feeling really insecure and unworthy of being a dad again. He didn’t think he deserved a second chance.
I think your strength and your bravery to open up about the affair is very admirable, knowing that people are gonna say whatever they’re gonna say. I personally hate to see people claiming you weren’t being real on the show for not sharing that. What’s your response to those critics, and how do you think things would have unfolded had you shared it on season 11?
I don’t know that our marriage would have survived it. Season 11 did need to be focused on Ariana and her rebuilding and her story. Had I come forward and been like, “Hey, me too,” it would have been so bad. It would have looked like, “Oh, there’s Scheana trying to make Scandoval about Scheana.” That was the last thing I wanted to do. Ariana needed to continue having her moment, and I wanted to be there to support her fully, but also I was going through this devastating thing personally. I’m taking it all out on Sandoval, which was deserved, but I wasn’t ready to face it. People saying that I was hypocritical, I absolutely get that. However, at that time, I was living my truth and that is I am going to protect my family. Just because this happened to me doesn’t mean I owe it to you to tell you tomorrow. I can put this out with agency on my own timeline. And if that means Season 12, Season 3, a book, whatever it is, it’s my story to tell. Season 11 did not feel like the right time. I hadn’t processed it. I needed more time to decide, “Am I gonna stay? Am I gonna go?” I didn’t want any outside opinions. I needed to make a decision that’s best for me and our daughter.
After reading your book, I’ve been looking back on that last season of Vanderpump Rules a lot differently. I see that everything you went through with Collin played into you wanting to show Sandoval grace after you learned the status of his mental health. Also, you had recently found out about Brock and his affair and decided to forgive him. Are you hoping that fans will see you in a different light once they understand some of the things you’ve gone through and how everything has manifested into the way you handle things?
That’s literally all I’m looking for with this book is for people to have a deeper understanding of who I am, why I work the way that I do. If you read this book and still don’t like me, that’s OK. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I can be annoying. I can be all of these things. I get it. But I feel like people have always judged me on a portion of me that you see on the show and not all of me. You don’t listen to the podcast, you don’t watch the vlogs, you don’t know me. After this book, you will know me, and if you still don’t like me, that’s OK. Hopefully you understand me. That’s all.
I want to get into a bit about Vanderpump Rules. Despite Lisa acting like she didn’t know about your relationship with Eddie, you later found out that she was kind of riding the show on the fact that you would join. You also say that she asked you to defend James after he body-shamed Katie in Season 7, which you didn’t do. At what point during your 10+ year run on the show did you realize that Lisa might’ve been more of an executive producer than a friend?
Kind of always. I am very respectful of authority, whether it be my restaurant boss, my producer, a network executive, whoever. I am a rule follower. I like to do a good job. I want to make everyone happy. I’m a people pleaser. Whether it was Lisa the friend, boss, or producer, whatever she wanted, I was like, “I want to make you happy. So if you want me to do this, OK. You think that’s a good idea?” I genuinely thought she was giving me good advice like, “Hey, so today, when you’re filming with Stassi, you might want to da-da-da…” And I’m like, “Oh, OK. That’s a good idea.” It wasn’t always a good idea. I can tell you that.
Have you heard from her about the book at all?
No. The only thing I heard was before any excerpt or anything even came out, Kristen [Doute] went on a podcast and said I told her there was a lot of Lisa tea. Then that spread everywhere and everyone’s like, “She’s writing a tell-all, she’s saying this and that, and don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” Bravo is the hand, let’s not forget that. I’m not biting them at all. But because Kristen said that and then it trickled back down to Lisa, she was like, “Well she’s just one of 700 employees, and of course she has to write about me because she has nothing else interesting to say.” Hurtful.
You definitely had a lot to say outside of Lisa. One thing that shocked me was that Sandoval had given your ex-husband ecstasy on the day of your wedding.
You’re the first person to bring this up!
I clocked that right away. Dog-eared the page. Wrote down the page number. How did that unfold? What was the conversation with Sandoval like once you realized?
Oh, I was pissed. He thought it was funny. I’m like, this all made sense. When you go back and watch that scene—I think it’s in a Secrets Revealed—his eyes were glazed over. He didn’t know he was rolling. I don’t think he had ever done Ecstasy before. I’m looking at him and I’m like, “What did you just take? What did you do? How did you get so drunk so quickly?” It wasn’t until weeks later that we were at Sandoval’s, and he was like, “Hey, you guys want some?” And Shay’s like, “Oh, is it Adderall? And he’s like, “No, it’s Ecstasy.” We’re like, “Wait.” And Shay goes, “That looks like the Adderall you gave me at the wedding.” And [Sandoval] was like, “Ah. Gotcha!” I was so pissed, but also there were people there, and I’m not one to really cause a scene—unless there’s a camera in my face. But no, I was really upset. I understood he was just trying to have him have a good time or whatever, but he didn’t want to take Ecstasy. He had never taken that before. He just wanted to stay up a little longer, which we find out later, then that became a problem as well. But at the time, I had no idea.
You also talked about how you and Lala staged a fight in the season nine finale to secure another season of the show. Was there always pressure to deliver an epic finale?
Yes! That’s why I got divorced. I’m just kidding, I’m kidding. No, but literally the Season 5 finale, I remember being at Katie and Schwartz’s wedding and cameras wrapped and we’re like, “Is our show done?” That was so peaceful. No one fought. They just had a great wedding. Everything was perfect. I did not [plan the divorce]. I was joking. But then cut to three months later, Scheana Shay got divorced.
If you could go back in time and do anything over, is there anything you would’ve done differently during your 11 seasons on Vanderpump Rules?
Oh my god, so many things. I like to say I don’t like to have regrets and live with regret. Live and learn. But Season 6, I wish it never happened. And Season 11, I do wish I handled things better and more delicately with Ariana, but at the time I was just trying to keep my head above water. I felt like I was drowning that entire season. I was not OK. And no one noticed, and that’s OK, because apparently I’m a really good actress, and I’m really good at hiding something personal if I don’t want people to know. So, it was no one’s fault but my own, but I do wish that I had been able to handle those conversations better.
Shifting gears a little bit, you reveal in the book that Tyler Perry was the best tipper. Out of any celebrity who’s come into the restaurants, who would come in second and third place?
Ooh, Drake. Incredible. Rob Dyrdek. I remember he was a really good tipper. Those are the top ones I remember. But Drake was the best.
You’ve acted, you’ve sang, you’ve been on reality TV, you’re a mom, a wife, an author. What’s next for Scheana Shay? Maybe Dancing with the Stars, finally?
No, that was 20s and 30s Scheana’s dream. Forties Scheana has other dreams and aspirations. This book has been my focus for the last year and a half. Now that it’s out, I would genuinely love to get back into acting. I did a guest star role on Lopez Vs. Lopez last year and that was so much fun. So, I do have some things in that lane that I’m working towards. We’ll see what comes of it.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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