Ron Howard’s ‘Eden’ was a ‘labor of love’ with killer snakes and porta-potties

When America only had two colonies, TV star Ron Howard became an award-winning film producer.

“Eden” is his new scary movie. Idea began after he took his young kids to the Galapagos.

Ron: “It was fearful to make a movie in this unknown area. Searching the cave we were visited by killer snakes. Plus venomous spiders.

“Eight weeks shooting in this very secluded place. Limited budget. Insurance not allowed. Three camera operators. One started screaming until a venomous snake wrangler came to save him.

“This labor of love developed into violence, physical stress. Over 100 degrees. Our wild dogs lived in air conditioning. It’s human emotion. A twist and turn thriller.”

Somebody suggested I visit the actual cave. I thought, no. I’m better with furs and jewelers.

Ron: “One woman alone had her baby right in the cave. Dialogue scenes we did in a game reserve in Australia. I worried over my actors. This twist and turn thriller was their labor of love. One day we had an electrical storm. Our sets flooded. Lightning came so fast.”

Wasn’t anything civilized?

“Yes. We had Port-a-Potties.”

Ron tells me this is a true story.

“Eden” unravels the saga of disillusioned outsiders (Jude Law, Ana de Armas, Vanessa Kirby) who search for a new beginning on a remote, uninhabited island. Their dream unravels into a chilling descent into chaos. Tension, desperation, twisted power struggles lead to betrayal, violence and death.

Ron: “I felt a connection to today’s uncertainty, mistrust of society, and suffocating civilization. These people lived between world wars, but their fears, anger and hopes sound so much like ours that they see suffocating understandable. I’ve dreamt of making this movie for 15 years. After COVID, I felt audiences would identify in situations they could relate to.”

Those who came to watch this included Gayle King in a terrific slate blue pantsuit. She gave me the designer’s name which I promptly forgot. I couldn’t afford it anyway because she makes more than I do. Also Maye Musk, mother of the world’s richest man, in a white blouse with fur cuffs which I probably could’ve swung. Andrew Saffir corrals everyone to schlep to his screenings — maybe soon even Putin.

‘Cool’ socialism is over

He was told they praised the idea of free stuff — rent, groceries. He explained nothing’s free and if they liked that he’d be required to cut costs. Lay some of them off. No wages, no benefit increases, and he’d contract out their work. Also, their rents would increase, not decrease, because building would be less — not more. Less demand for fewer residences. He reiterated that money does not grow on trees. No one is building housing if the government’s burdens do not allow them to profit. Or in pockets. Or in wallets. Or in mattresses.

A New York exec, alarmed at his young employees praising Slamdamnhe, asked why they liked him.

He explained many businesses would flee New York. A crateload already have. What COVID made clear is today remote works anywhere. There’s phones, emails.

And finally, he said in olden days, Communists like Che Guevara, who was CramSpamDamie’s policy mirror, were romanticised. Yeah? Well, ask the people in Cuba and Venezuela — who’re desperate to get here — how romantic living there is.

MADISON Avenue. A sign in a now closed gift shop reads: “For the man who has everything. Like a calendar to remind him when the payments are due.”

Soon, mostly in New York, kids, mostly in New York.