Monique Samuels Signed Her ‘RHOP’ Contract And 24 Hours Later, Ashley Darby Showed Up At Her Home To Film: “It All Happened So Quickly”

Monique Samuels is back on The Real Housewives Of Potomac and all is right in the world. After a 5 season absence from the series, Samuels is ready to share her new life. “I want people to see the transformation,” explained Samuels. Now divorced from former NFL player Chris Samuels, the Bravo vet was grateful that friends like OG Ashley Darby never gave up on her, even when she was in her darkest hour. “I’ve been on a journey to learn and appreciate my own value, but it’s nice when some people have seen your value even before you saw it,” she explained. “Ashley has been super supportive the whole time.”

Samuels needed Darby’s support this season as she sought to make amends with Gizelle Bryant. Samuels had exposed the shady personal dealings of Bryant’s ex-husband Jamal Bryant during her iconic binder at the Season 5 reunion. Now that time had passed, Bryant was open to hearing Samuels out and to take accountability for her own actions that led to their feud. “Gizelle and I literally broke down every situation. We started way back from the ‘four homes’ moment all the way up to the binder,” said Samuels. “We decided to move on from there and always remain shady when necessary to each other’s faces.”

It’s a good thing Samuels has “become peace” because the other women in the group certainly are testing her. Much has been speculated about cast member Stacey Rusch‘s connection with Samuels’ ex-husband. However, Samuels isn’t interested in whether they’ve hung out or been in communication about what Samuels said about him to the women. “It really doesn’t matter to me because we’ve been divorced over two years,” said Samuels. However, Samuels does believe her ex-husband is using “spokespersons” like Cookie Whiting and Charisse Jackson Jordan to infiltrate the group. “He’s involving them in his own secretive way,” said Samuels simply.

Samuels stopped by the Decider studio to talk about her return to the franchise, share which RHOP newbie surprised her the most, and discuss her new book, Love Letters from Versions of Myself: A Memoir of Self-Discovery, Transformation, & Healing.

DECIDER: Monique, it’s so good to see you back on Potomac! Why was now the right time for you to return to the franchise?

MONIQUE SAMUELS: What better way to test my healing and my growth than to go back into the fire? [Laughs] No, but it was perfect timing because I felt like I have learned enough about myself that I just went, “what the heck, I might as well.” Ashley’s been asking me for years. [The show’s production company] Truly Original has been calling me for years. It just felt like the right time. I’m in a place in my life where I have overcome so many obstacles, so many fears, and I’m promoting my book and Mila Eve essential oils. I want people to see the transformation and to know that it’s possible. They are welcome to judge this new energy.

I saw somewhere you agreed to film again and then almost the next day, Ashley Darby was at your house ready to go! What was it like to jump back in?

It all happened so quickly, but it felt like riding a bike, honestly. I told them yes on Monday, and they sent me a contract. I signed it on Wednesday, and Ashley Darby was at my door on Thursday. She invited me to her Pride event, which was then on Saturday. I hit the ground running because I feel they were like, “we gotta hurry up before she changes her mind.”

Ashley Darby has been advocating for you since you left the show back in Season 5. What has her support meant to you over the years?

It has meant a lot. I’ve been on a journey to learn and appreciate my own value, but it’s nice when some people have seen your value even before you saw it. She always would encourage me. There were times I’ve heard even after I left that she would bring me up while filming, hoping that she was setting the stage for me to, like, pop in and change my mind. Ashley has been super supportive the whole time.

Forget Zen Wen. It’s Zen Monique! You are now such a calming presence on the show. Can you talk about the work you’ve done off-screen to get where you are today?

Oh, my goodness. It took a lot of self-reflection, discovery, awareness, accountability, just all of it [laughs]. I really want to be the best version of myself. I knew that there were a lot of things that I had to face. There are things that you know that you love about yourself, but there are some things that you don’t really like about yourself, and that’s okay. But you must make peace with those things. I didn’t just step into peace. I became peace.

When you become peace, it doesn’t matter what environment you’re in. You’re always going to maintain that energy when you’re going through difficulty. So, for me, it was all about relearning myself and being the best version of myself, which is what led me to writing my book, Love Letters from Versions of Myself: A Memoir of Self-Discovery, Transformation, & Healing. It’s been such a journey. Not only do I want to share some of the things I went through, but I want people to know that they’re not alone, no matter what circumstances they might be facing. Writing the book has been such a healing path for me.

You’ve been sharing your story for years, but what made you finally want to put pen to paper?

It happened when I started journaling. Journaling allowed me to express things that I did not want to necessarily say out loud. It allowed me to be real with myself about my situation. It allowed me that space without judgment. My journal is what turned into my book.

I started to feel like everything I was writing felt like a pity party [laughs.] And I said, “you know what? I have to balance this pity party and these complaints with some positivity.” So, I asked myself, “what would the highest version of myself say to me regarding this situation?” And I would write a letter to me that was basically encouraging me to keep pushing. Two months would pass, and I would go back and read that letter. It was usually exactly what I needed to hear. That’s when I knew I had to keep going.

What are you most excited about sharing this stage in your life with audiences?

I’m excited to show there is a life on the other side of your ego. It’s when you can take that deep stare in the mirror and say: “you know what? It really doesn’t matter what other people think of me or what they say. It really matters what I think of me.” I went through this whole transformation and came out a person who is truly at peace with herself. No matter what someone says about me, whether it’s negative or positive, it doesn’t have any effect on me because I know me.

Well, that’s good to hear because these women are trying to start mess with you! Respectfully, I don’t know why K and some of the ladies are harping on the fact that Stacey Rusch and your ex-husband may or may not have hung out or been in communication. He’s your ex for a reason! What’s your take on the situation?

I really don’t have a take on it, to be honest. Because his last name is Samuels and my last name is Samuels, and I’m coming back around, it caused this frenzy among these women. It really doesn’t matter to me because we’ve been divorced over two years. I would expect that he would date. Stacy is a beautiful woman. Why not? You know, I am fine as long as the women he dates are good with children. I have three of them, so just be nice to my kids.

You’ve made it clear you’re not a fan of Cookie or Charisse. Why the heck do you think they are involving themselves in the whole Stacey/Chris debacle?

Well, the question is, who’s involving them? There’s like an invisible hand that’s behind the scenes that people don’t see. Sometimes you have people who actually want to be a part of the mess, but they don’t want people to think they’re that pressed. Those people named my ex-husband [laughs]. He’s involving them in his own secretive way, and they’re being the spokespersons for him. Then he gets to look like, “oh, I don’t know what’s going on. What’s the big deal? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I know the one reason you’re even entertaining this conversation is to try and maintain your co-parenting relationship. Are you making strides in that area?

Terrible [laughs]. Co-parenting is a nightmare. It was awful then. It’s even worse now. However, my focus is and will always remain on my children. I’m not saying anything outside of what I know is my truth. I wanted to be respectful. Unfortunately, sometimes even if you just say a person’s name, they look at that as, “oh, you’re bashing me.” So, if my telling my truth about what happened is bashing you, maybe you need to take a look in the mirror.

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong.

Me neither!

I’ve seen a snippet of your sit-down with Gizelle Bryant in this week’s episode. I love that you take accountability for your role in your feud, but you don’t let her off the hook for the part she also played. What did you want to accomplish with that conversation?

I definitely accomplished what I wanted, whether they showed all of it or not remains to be seen. Gizelle and I literally broke down every situation. We started way back from the “four homes” moment all the way up to the binder. There were some situations where I thought it was her, but it was a miscommunication, or there was a person that was in the middle of something and neither one of us was aware. Those things caused us to continue to bump heads because we had a rocky start anyway. We were able to work out everything. I took accountability, she took accountability, and we decided to move from there and always remain shady when necessary to each other’s faces.

I love that you recognized how Gizelle’s daughter Grace might have felt about the situation because often I don’t think Housewives reflect on how their actions could affect their families. Was Gizelle appreciative of this? Have you seen Grace since that conversation?

I haven’t seen Grace since that conversation, and Gizelle was very appreciative of it. Like you said, a lot of times, housewives don’t have that reflective space because we aren’t given the opportunity . For me, stepping away for so long, I had a lot of time to really look back on certain things.

When I saw Gizelle at the Pride event, she was so warm and inviting. She was happy to see me. And that’s when I was like, “I was talking about your dad. “He was collateral damage because of an issue I had with your mom.” All of those things just started swirling in my head. I can’t really go back and undo it, but I can say, “all right, that was a lesson learned. Let me move on from there.”

Which of the women surprised you the most this season?

Angel surprised me the most. I wasn’t around at the beginning, but what I’ve been seeing in the episodes is definitely different from what I thought was happening when I met her. I really hope that she’s able to turn some of the situations around with the ladies. She was taking everything very personally. Certain things the ladies have said… I would have just laughed at or walked away. When you continually drag certain situations out, it just becomes like, “wait, what is happening? Like, we got to move on.”

In the mid-season trailer, we see you speaking very candidly with Angel about the similarities between her and you in the past being married to an NFL player. What can you tease about that conversation?

I’ve been through certain situations and when you see someone else doing exactly the things you did, you feel like you’re looking in the mirror . I’ve had moments where people have tried to tell me certain things, but they were the wrong messengers. I was trying to be the right messenger for her. I also wanted to make sure that she wasn’t walking down a path that I’ve already been down. I was just like, “if you need some help, just say it, because I know what that feels like.” You’ll see how everything pans out.

What else are you excited for fans to see this season?

There are so many things. I’m really excited for the fans to see my “Sip and Read.” I’m going to be talking about my book. Even though I’ve been on this healing path, one thing I asked God to never heal is my shade. So, you’re going to get a little healing with a little dash of shade in a couple weeks.