Long Island town admits grandma used as key witness to block mosque plan never existed

Who’s your granny?

A ritzy Long Island town admitted to inventing a fake grandma and citing her as a main witness in court papers to deny a local Muslim group’s request to upgrade their mosque, according to court documents. 

Officials from the Town of Oyster Bay — which is home to the wealthy and celebs such as Billy Joel — claimed the imaginary woman testified that she couldn’t drive her SUV down the narrow streets supposedly blocked by worshippers’ parked cars, and named her one of the main reasons the mosque’s plans had to be rejected.

But under oath this month, town officials confessed the traffic-jammed grandmother, her SUV, and her grandkids don’t actually exist — but instead are “an amalgam” of other resident’s submissions, none of which ever mentioned any grandmother, grandchildren, SUVs, or even daycare drop-offs.

“This grandmother doesn’t exist,” Attorney for Muslims of Long Island, Peter Vogel, told The Post. “She is a figment of the Town’s imagination.” 

Town Planning Board Chairman Angelo Stanco admitted in a deposition that Oyster Bay “departed from its normal practice” to “invent the fake witness” — something he said had never been done before. He said the grandma is “partially an amalgam of testimony and written submissions,” the records show.

Deputy Commissioner Timothy Zike also admitted the woman was entirely fictional, conceding that her story should probably be removed from the town’s official denial. 

But despite the town’s sworn admissions in federal court, Oyster Bay is now publicly denying any wrongdoing.

“While we do not comment on the specifics of pending litigation, claims against the Town are baseless, unjustified and an attempt to divide the community,” Town Attorney Frank Scalera said in a statement. 

“Our town’s policies are applied equally and reflect fairness for all, regardless of faith. The Town takes great pride in its proven dedication to diversity and inclusiveness.”

But the group’s lawyers are not so sure that’s the case — and the fake grandmother, attorneys argue, was just the tip of the iceberg.

Typically, the approval process to get the permit that the mosque is seeking only takes roughly six months to a year. But the mosque, which has existed in the town since the 1990s, said they have been fighting for their approval for over six years at this point. 

The federal complaint accuses Oyster Bay of orchestrating a years-long campaign to quietly stall and kill the mosque project — including manufacturing minuscule mistakes to send the application back, and even rewriting zoning laws midstream to create stricter parking requirements aimed squarely at the mosque’s application, according to court documents.

Town officials also admitted they passed Local Law No. 6 — a parking ordinance requiring new houses of worship to have one parking spot for every three seats — just as the mosque’s application neared the finish line.

On the record, officials told the court they passed the bill because the town viewed its existing parking laws as “unfair,” and said they felt it “favored” religions that pray standing, leaning on lecterns, or sitting on the floor — and had the mosque in mind when they passed it. 

The new law more than doubled the number of parking spaces the mosque would need, from 86 to 155, making the project all but impossible. And town officials admitted under oath they never considered any less burdensome alternatives.

When asked which religions specifically did the new law target with the town’s rationale, Oyster Bay’s Deputy Commissioner Scott Byrne responded, “Islam,” according to court documents. 

“In other words, the Town passed Local Law No. 6 to specifically target building applications submitted by members of certain religions,” Diana Conner, another attorney for the group said. 

And while town officials attempted to paint the mosque as a traffic hazard, they were unable to point to a single accident ever caused by it — except for one — during a site inspection earlier this year, when the town’s own public safety inspector rear-ended a woman outside the house of worship.

The mosque’s attorneys called the town’s actions “blatant islamophobia,” and the law firm, Linklaters, has taken the case pro-bono. 

“In a country that was founded upon the principles of religious freedom, it’s just pathetic that this is what this town has done,” attorney Muhammad Faridi told The Post. 

A bench trial is set for October in federal court, where the U.S. Department of Justice has joined the case in support of the mosque, arguing the town’s actions likely violated the First Amendment and federal religious land use protections.