Jennifer Lopez is enduring an epic string of flops: Awful movies, canceled concerts

The Los keep getting Lo-er and Lo-er.

Jennifer Lopez’s new movie “Kiss of the Spider Woman” is expected to open to a measly $2 million in sales by the end of the holiday weekend.

Yikes. That’s peanuts. A crushing disappointment.

The prestige film, which is based on the Broadway musical by John Kander and Fred Ebb, cost $30 million to make and millions more to market. 

Going full out, Lopez, 56, has been all over TV and podcasts promoting the project, in which she sings and dances as fictional screen star Ingrid Luna. 

There’s a big reason why she’s everywhere. Ever since “Spider Woman” premiered at Sundance back in January, J.Lo has been an Oscar hopeful, even though the best part by far is actually her co-star, newcomer Tonatiuh.

I was there at the Eccles Theater in Park City, Utah, when J.Lo got a standing ovation and teared up onstage.

Well, nine months later and “Spider Woman” is looking more like a Golden Globe desperate. Nobody’s going to see it.

What happened? Here’s the Lo-down.

Immediately following the box office success of “Hustlers” in 2019 — and what was seen by some as an Academy Awards snub — Lopez has been on a losing streak of losing streaks.

Her movies, albums and concert tours have been, respectively, flops, flops and flops.

Some were good, most execrable. But it’s become abundantly clear that nobody is going to watch or buy something just because Jennifer Lopez is in it anymore. 

Most embarrassing, before this weekend anyway, was in 2024 when she canceled her entire “This Is Me… Live” tour, citing wanting to spend time with her family. 

But ticket sales were reportedly soft and dates were already being scrapped. Her comeback album, “This Is Me… Now,” wasn’t any good.

That same year she starred in Netflix’s crummy science-fiction film “Atlas.” Lopez played a ridiculous scientist who drove around in a walking robot on Planet Screensaver. That dud scored 18% on RottenTomatoes. That’s about 17% too high.

I actually quite liked her inspirational Amazon sports movie “Unstoppable” about Anthony Robles, the NCAA wrestling champ who was born with one leg. That one got a strong response when it premiered last fall at the Toronto International Film Festival.  

Then, as so often happens, it dropped on Prime Video with the brute force of a down feather. This is probably the first you’ve heard of it.

But certainly not of Lopez, who we hear about constantly, despite the increasing failure of her output.

Lopez is mostly in the press these days for her tumultuous love life: her called-off engagement to Alex Rodriguez and her marriage and subsequent divorce from former beau Ben Affleck. 

Truly, the biggest headline “Spider Woman” has gotten thus far was when she and Affleck posed on the red carpet together last week in New York. What could it mean?! (He was an executive producer).

That’s too bad. Despite the above rundown of her flameouts, I really do enjoy her. She’s relatable, funny and blunt, but with a glamorous effervescence. Being all of that is rare. I want to see her in another high-quality triumph.

Negative associations are tough to shake off, though. 

In the aughts, Lopez became known as the lovable star of rom-coms like “The Wedding Planner,” “Maid in Manhattan” and “Monster-in-Law.” Audiences knew exactly what they were getting.

Twenty years later, she’s known as the famous star of really bad movies. 

Audiences know exactly what they’re getting. Or not getting, such as the case may be.