Inside Canada’s Cabot Cape Breton golf resort

They mayn’t be too keen on becoming our 51st State, but Canada is happy to be our 47 holes — in the form of three premiere golf courses within their sovereign Atlantic border.

A pair of 18-hole courses — and one mini third child of an 11-holer — at Cabot Cape Breton (CCB) resort, which opened in 2012 on Nova Scotia’s Cape Breton Island, make for a perfect mid-to-late summer Atlantic clubbin’ retreat.

If you’re worried about freezing your balls off, your Titleists will be just fine: It’s a balmy 70 to 80 degrees (that’s Fahrenheit, no need to panic, centigraders) through September with plenty of cooling breezes perfect for hiking, biking and, through July, KitchenFest, when the town square hosts square dancing, whiskey tastings and “céilidhs” — Celtic musical numbers with 150 performances, all to help you blow off the steam from your strokes of bad luck on the links.

The province’s Latin name is “New Scotland,” and these World’s Top 100 18-holers live up to their namesake. CCB’s Cabot Links is right on the oceanfront while Cabot Cliffs is a little artsier, gently carved with surgical precision out of the cape’s vert geography and “Insta-famous” rolling fairways.

And that cute little itty-bitty 11-holer, for those blessed with a more putt-putt penchant, is natally named “the Nest” atop the highest point of CCB. This is the bunny hill, if you will, perfect for kiddos looking to be the next Nelly Korda.

For the parents who “want to watch” their offsprings’ swing-and-a-misses from afar, there’s always the Glendora Whiskey Distillery, exercising at Coone Barn or taking to the har-tru clay tennis courts all within earshot of the Nest. Your “Atta girl, honey, you’ll get the next one!” chants will still land, however insincere.

Sadly, the major occultic event ’round these parts — the Cabot Cape Breton Solstice Challenge — ended on June 20 when golfers attempted to master all three courses consecutively. The prize was a commemorative coin and complimentary entry into the Solstice After Dark putting contest, where all proceeds went a local charity.

We recommend doing the challenge anyway, just BYOGJ (bring your own green jacket).

With all these “birdies” and “eagles” flying around, you might start hankering for some fowl for dinner. Bzzzt, wrong: This is Atlantic Canada, aka pescatarian country. You’ll be feasting on Cape Breton seafood chowder or Nova Scotia lobster at CCB’s award-winning Panorama restaurant.

And now it’s ZZZ -o-clock. Crash thee at the resort’s charming 72-room lodge with ocean views from every unit or opt for larger homes and villa rentals for groups and families willing to go splitsies. 

Besides those maddening sand traps, the getting here is the truly unholy part of CCB. Your best bet is a two-hour nonstop flight out of LGA or Newark to Halifax Stanfield International, rent a car and drive just over three hours due northeast.

Just keep in mind, even if that commute and/or your golf score leaves you with a frowny, boiling red face emoji on the inside, the lovely and e’er smiling Canadian staffers will be as dimpled as your golf balls the entire time to help ease the pain.

Mid-season rates (through June 26 and Sept. 15 to 28) start at $383; peak-season rates (June 27 to Sept. 14) start at $452.