Cannibalistic intern fired from NYC law firm for biting up to ten coworkers: report

A twisted Big Law summer intern was reportedly tossed from an elite Manhattan law firm after repeatedly baring the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

A summer associate at white-shoe firm Sidley Austin began biting colleagues and roaring at them on her first day — and by the time she was canned, her body count had reached double digits, insiders told the legal news site Above the Law. 

The bites were not “in an aggressive, ‘we’re beefing’ way” – but rather, “a faux-quirky manic pixie dream girl crossed with the Donner party vibe,” the outlet reported.

“Though I’ve seen pics of the results post-Biglaw Biter, and ‘nibble’ is probably too tame a word,” the article’s author noted. 

“It’s unclear why so many people let this go before reporting the Biglaw Biter, but the rumor is she’s otherwise personable and there was some reluctance to elevate the matter,” the outlet reported, citing unnamed sources.

A jaw-dropping account of the chomping spree posted to X said the girl sank her teeth into 10 colleagues, including other summer interns, associate lawyers and even an HR rep at the firm’s Seventh Avenue offices. 

“It was such a repeated thing that her officemate started wearing long sleeve shirts to the office because she kept getting bit,” the purported insider said, as posted by the account @a_real_society on July 12. 

An image also posted to X shows a mouth-sized bruise on someone’s outer bicep – an injury allegedly inflicted by the gnaw-ty intern. 

The firm declined to comment. But an insider told The Post the intern bit only five employees and that exaggerations were now flooding the internet.

“People are outright making things up at this point,” echoed a Reddit user who claimed to work with the masticator at Sidley.

“I just want to ask people to please remember that there’s a human being on the other end of this story — someone whose mental health is a genuine concern, and who is probably feeling like her life is ruined right now,” the July 11 post continued. “She made a really stupid mistake and has paid the price for it.”

Barack and Michelle Obama famously met at Sidley Austin’s headquarters in Chicago in 1988, when Michelle, then a young lawyer fresh out of Harvard Law School, was tasked with mentoring Barack, a summer associate at the time. 

The firm, which boasts 21 offices globally, handles “complex transactional, restructuring, crisis management, investigation, regulatory and litigation matters,” according to its website.