Best friends become platonic co-parent to foster daughter

Natalie and Shelbey have the mother of all friendships. 

The singletons, best gal pals of 14 years, recently took their relationship to the next level: platonic co-parenthood. 

“About two years ago, I went to Shelbey and said, ‘I really want to foster a child. Do you want to do it with me?” Natalie, 32, a pediatric development therapist from Wisconsin, told The Post. “‘Let’s pursue this together.’”

Natalie and Shelbey, 33, a service coordinator for kids with disabilities, both chose not to provide their last names, nor the name of their foster daughter, for privacy purposes. 

But the idea of becoming mommies as heterosexual roommates didn’t exactly excite Shelbey at first. 

“When she was like, ‘Hey, I wanna do this,’ I was like, ‘OK, that’s insane!,’” the millennial laughed. “My plan was always to get married and have biological children of my own.”

“But things weren’t going the way I’d anticipated, and I just decided to love and help raise this child,” she added, “It’s been really wonderful.”

The besties, now licensed foster parents to the toddler girl they received in May 2024, are in the rising number of folks remixing the rules of family. 

Rather than postponing parenthood until Mr. or Mrs. Right comes down the pipe, wannabe mothers and fathers — including A-listers such as Anderson Cooper and Van Johnson — are bringing up babies with their buds as a thumb to the nose of tradition. 

But Barbara Greenberg, a NYC clinical psychologist, previously told The Post that the seemingly sweet, albeit strange setup can hit a few sour notes. 

“Co-parenting can get very complicated, even among very good friends,” the expert cautioned. “You have to do some major advance planning and talk through a wide range of scenarios, including what the labels will be for each parent, how holidays will be celebrated, where the child will live and what happens if someone gets a romantic partner.”

Lara Traum, a local family law attorney, echoed a similar warning, advising chums to hire individual lawyers to help them map out a solid parenting agreement before going halfsies on a little one. 

“Hopefully,” the legal insider said, “as friends you’re like-minded and share values to embark on this together.”

Shelbey tells The Post that like-mindedness is the lifeblood that keeps her and Natalie on one accord as co-moms. 

“We’re very similar in how we parent,” said the millennial, joking that “men don’t just always get it” when it comes to soft-handed child-rearing. 

“She and I align very well on how we approach children and how we want to be very positive parents,” Shelbey continued. “I couldn’t imagine raising a child with a man, because I just don’t think they’d offer the same level of care and understating as a woman.”

But before finding their rhythm as mothers-in-tandem, the women were subjected to an extensive screening process to ensure they’d be fit foster parents. From background checks to trainings, to home-study investigations and one-on-one interviews, both Natalie and Shelbey were put to the test. 

And they give potential suitors an equally intense examination before taking the guys on as romantic partners.   

“I have dated since we’ve become foster moms, and it’s a weird dynamic to explain,” said Shelbey. Natalie, who’s happily single at the moment, says dating “isn’t worth” her time. 

“If someone isn’t understating of our situation, then he’s not the right person for me,” Shelbey added, noting, however, that a several men have been surprisingly “open and accepting” of her and Natalie’s ultramodern family dynamic. 

“I have had people who loved [that we are foster co-parenting,” she said. “They’re like, ‘Weird is good. Why be normal?.’”

Natalie, who recently debuted their “weird” arrangement online to over 83,000 TikTok viewers, says fostering a kid with Shelbey by her side has made mommy-life a dream. 

“The mental load of foster care is really heavy,” she explained to The Post, “but having somebody to go through that with you — someone who’s equally invested and your best friend — makes it easier.”

Currently, the duo’s daughter is specifically a foster child, and is not up for adoption. 

Natalie and Shelbey say the state of Wisconsin does not allow two single co-parents to adopt a child, should the tyke ever become eligible for adoption. In the event of a change to her status, only one of the friends would be permitted to legally adopt the girl. 

But Natalie and Shelbey aren’t pre-planning for that eventuality at the moment.  

The pair has, however, decided that one or both of their future husbands would have to be willing to move into their shared home with the tot as long as she’s in their charge.  

“If one of us gets married, that person’s partner is just going to have to move into our house and join our family,” said Shelbey. “We have a very established life.”

“And that’s just how it’s got to be.”