‘And Just Like That’ Season 3 Episode 9 Recap: “Present Tense”

Just when we were all reaching peak Aidan-hate, And Just Like That showed us some mercy and send that Country Lurch packing back to Virginia. But don’t worry, even with Aidan gone I still have a lot of problems with this show, allow me to unpack them (and store them in Miranda’s second bedroom, the one where she stores all her own emotional baggage). Instead of a typical recap, this week I’m going to make a list of all the partners on this show and discuss them in order of how tolerable they are, because this week was a real relationship spectrum. We’ll start with the most likeable partner of the week, Joy and work our way down to Aidan, a man who learned a very important lesson about verb tenses this week.

I like the fact that the pendulum that is Miranda’s relationships during this iteration of the AJLT franchise has swung in so many directions. Che Diaz was annoying at best, and self-centered and cruel at worst, while Joy (Dolly Wells) has proven to be honest and self-aware, and a more fitting match by far. Even though she and Miranda only shared one scene in this week’s episode, it spoke to the fact that both women are, in fact, mature enough to discuss real things. While at Miranda’s new apartment, Joy asks Miranda where her fancy new Canadian gin went – the gin that temped Miranda last week, until she tossed it down her trash chute. Miranda was so worried about telling Joy she was an alcoholic, fearful that it would disrupt their fun fling, that against her better judgment she allowed Joy to leave the bottle at her place. This week, Miranda finally comes clean that she threw it away because she is an alcoholic. At first it seems as if this truth bomb might actually have ruined their fun when Joy tells Miranda, “I’m afraid that now whenever I have a drink around you I’m going to feel bad about myself.” But then Joy goes on to admit that maybe the reason she drinks in the first place is because she tries to numb herself, and maybe that’s something she needs to think about.

Miranda is always written as either a confident, smart adult, or she can just as easily assume an insecure, subservient status, all apologies and mea culpas. I worried this scene might end with her groveling for Joy’s affection or begging for forgiveness for keeping her alcoholism a secret. Fortunately, she was allowed to be a real, mature human who joked about having a spare bedroom where they can both store their emotional baggage.

Harry

It pains me to admit that Harry and Charlotte are probably the couple I most identify with on this show, but it’s true, their dorkiness resonates deeply with me. This week, Harry is still recovering from his prostate surgery, but Charlotte’s struggled to be his nurse now that she’s also battling vertigo (still). Charlotte’s attempt to clean up their bedroom while struggling with her vertigo? As a perpetual multi-tasker who also hates clutter, I find this truly relatable. When Harry tells her he peed for the first time since his surgery without a catheter, Charlotte falls over from happiness. Literally.

Giuseppe

Normally, Giuseppe (Sebastiano Pigazzi) is at the top of my list when it comes to the best partners on this show, he often gets some of the funniest lines and his calm demeanor balances Anthony’s (Mario Cantone) brashness. But he’s slipping in the rankings this week thanks to his mother Gia, played by Patti LuPone. I think we all wished we loved this cameo, but it’s so nonsensical that it’s impossible. Patti’s presence is like a microcosm of the show itself: High hopes and lots of respect for the institution can’t save what is ultimately a disappointing showing.

Last week, Giuseppe suggested that Anthony cook a meal for Gia so they can have a one-on-one. Anthony hosts Gia at his apartment and while they eat a very dry-looking risotto that any true Italian would likely not accept (we all know it should spread on the plate) Gia admits that she thinks Anthony is too old for Giuseppe, and she doesn’t want her son to have to nurse Anthony when he’s elderly like she did with her own much-older husband. Somehow, the conversation then becomes about money (“What about Giuseppe? I raised him in a world of beautiful villas. Villas. Plural. We have three. What can you offer? He can’t live on bread alone,” she sneers.)

And then Gia completely loses it, discarding her “Italian” accent and telling Anthony, “Let’s cut the shit, shall we? How much for you to get the fuck out of Giuseppe’s life?” and then smashing the table settings to the ground. When Giuseppe walks in on this, Gia tells him if he plans to live his life out in New York with Anthony that’s fine, but she won’t support it. Is this… the end of Patti’s arc? I mean, I would be fine if it is, I’m just asking.

I can’t believe that we’re still talking about deodorant with this guy. Adam (Logan Marshall-Green), the hippie-dippy gardener who uses a crystal to deodorize his pits, occasionally takes drags off other people’s cigs, and chooses the absolute worst karaoke songs, keeps getting more peculiar by the day. And yet, despite his inconsistent and often annoying behavior, I don’t hate Adam. I like his armpit kink. Seema seems happy with him. He turned Carrie’s backyard into a rat-free haven where Aidan and Duncan can enjoy each other’s company. (More on that in a sec!)

This week, Adam gifts Seema one of the deodorizing crystals that he uses to keep his pits smelling fresh (after kissing her with his own lips covered in Secret, which, okay, I’m deducting points now that I remember he did that.) We all know where this is going: Seema tries the crystal deodorant, and then, at an important business lunch that she had to run to on a hot summer day, Seema’s potential client does the whole, “Do you smell that waiter’s terrible B.O.?” thing and she’s mortified that he smells her. So she rushes to the bathroom, which she finds locked, and she does the only thing she can think to do, apply her deodorant right there outside the bathroom door. In a funny callback to last week where she and Adam witness a woman applying deodorant in a restaurant, she tells the woman coming out of the bathroom, “I’m not this woman! I’ve seen this woman! I’m not this woman!”

Herbert

The entire reason I decided to create this ranking of (in)tolerable partners was because of Herbert’s ridiculous behavior this week. I cannot believe a woman like Lisa (Nicole Ari Parker) would tolerate this man’s childish behavior. Herbert has, apparently, lost weight recently (I guess in an effort to look svelte on the comptroller campaign trail? This isn’t something that’s been discussed before so let’s roll with it) and is really mad that there’s like, food in the house. He’s irate when he sees cheese in the fridge. Despondent when he spies a box of angel hair on the counter. Unhinged when he discovers Nutty Buddies in the cupboard. He apparently has forgotten that the other people in his house need to eat, too. “Herbert, please, just go on Ozempic just like everybody else,” Lisa tells him before dashing off to work, the only response to this madness.

And then the man has the nerve to call her at work to tell her he gained a pound. This isn’t the first time Herbert has called Lisa at work for foolish reasons. Remember in this season’s first episode when he called her in the middle of a meeting to ask if he was “cool”? I do, and I’m still mad about it! Herbert needs to start showing some self-comptrol when it comes to the daytime phone calls.

Aidan

As ridiculous as Herbert’s behavior was this week, Aidan has him beat. In many ways, Aidan and Carrie are really perfect for each other because they both think they’re very clever, adorable scamps most of the time. (See Carrie telling Duncan in episode 5, “I’m not trying to be amusing, I am amusing.”) But Aidan has truly has cornered the market on pathological “thinks he’s charming when he’s not” behavior this season. Breaking her window. Just showing up for however long this extended trip is supposed to be. Forcing his T-bone steaks on her. Like, at this point I want Carrie to rustle up that Post-It that Jack Berger left her and see if he scratched his phone number anywhere below the “Don’t Hate Me” part.

It’s not just that Aidan’s hokey yokel shtick was wearing thin though, it’s that, despite the fact that Carrie had laid out some very clear boundaries in recent weeks, mostly having to do with her relationship with Duncan, Aidan crossed them all. Last week, Carrie told Aidan she didn’t want the three of them to have dinner because she preferred her relationship with Duncan to stay professional. This week right off the bat she finds Aidan and Duncan sitting outside together chatting, because Aidan wanted to pry into Duncan’s life.

Carrie, clad in a dirndl, discovers the two men together and this is certainly NOT one of her favorite things.

The two men are truly bitchy to each other, with Aidan’s face silently judging Duncan for smoking a pipe and Duncan assuming Aidan went to London to see Chippendale dancers, not Chippendale furniture. Carrie is truly upset by Aidan’s inability to follow rules, so when she stands up to leave, she leaves him hangin’.

Carrie admits to Seema that she knows Aidan has reason to not trust her – she cheated on him with Big, of course he’s not going to forget that. (She refers to Big as “John” which, I mean, just no.) That’s when Seema tells Carrie that Aidan was trying to get information about Duncan out of her at Charlotte’s gallery opening. Carrie is beyond annoyed when she hears that. (Seema declines to inform Carrie that their specific description of Duncan was, “He’s a big meanie.”) There’s just one trust issue after another, cascading like dominoes and culminating in Aidan interrupting Carrie and Duncan’s work session by insisting they break for dinner so he can make them all T-bone steaks. Aidan won’t take no for an answer in a way that makes everyone uncomfortable, only going away when he assumes Carrie will eventually come up to dine with him later. Eventually though, he gets tired and goes to bed…without refrigerating the meat?! Wouldn’t he, at some point, come to the realization that it was late, he had waited for her long enough, and he could put the beef away? I hate him for making me think about that.

When Carrie’s writing session with pipe-smoking Duncan is over, she comes to bed and for some reason thanks Aidan for being so understanding about her working (to reverse Carrie’s quote from a couple weeks ago, that’s so female) even though he’s the one who owes her an apology for interrupting her work. He pouts and tells her “Get away from me, you smell like smoke, go take a shower” – obviously he means, “You smell like another man” – but his tone is brutal. (This man’s mood swings are unpredictable and volatile and on the verge on manic? It’s not just that he’s been whiny this season that has made him so off-putting, it’s that his behavior is self-absorbed to the point that he often belittles Carrie and disrespects her time and opinions without even registering it. Their breakup, which I’m getting to, can’t come soon enough!)

They go to bed angry and in the morning, Carrie is still angry. (“You’re still mad?” “I have no reason not to be.”) She tells Aidan she knows he’s worried that she’s spending time with another man, which he denies (but it’s true). In a fury she leaves the house to go for a walk… to browse for shoes. Oh, hey, Andy Cohen as Daniel the shoe salesman! Nice to see you again.

While she’s out, Aidan texts her to invite her to lunch and as soon as she sits down, he admits to her, “I do have trust issues with you around other men.” Carrie immediately gets hung up on his verb tense, asking “Have or had?”

“What’s your point, it’s just a word?” he says, and Carrie says that it’s revealing that he still has these feelings, that they’re not something left in the past. Word choices matter.

“Sorry I’m not a writer like you and Sherlock Holmes,” he spits. He is so fragile it’s disgusting. Carrie gets up and leaves the restaurant because she’s so insulted that he still thinks of her as a cheater. He follows her out and she yells at him, “I have done everything to show you how fully committed to you I am.” She put her life on hold for this man. She forgave this man for sleeping with his ex. She forgave him for breaking her window! “I was 100 percent in,” she says, and that’s where he finally starts to pay attention to the grammar of it all, saying, “Wait, stop. Was or are? Because you just said I was 100 percent in, so is it was or are you still 100 percent in?”

“Was. I can’t give you any more than I have and it wasn’t enough,” she says. It’s shocking that he doesn’t realize how much she has sacrificed for him, like this is the first he’s hearing of any of this.

“I’m sad,” Aidan says tearing up. “I really thought we were going to make it this time.” They hug, an embrace filled with decades of love and hope and regret, but I feel nothing because this show has shattered any goodwill I have had toward their relationship. You know this is a big moment for the show though because they shelled out Taylor Swift money to play “How Did It End?” over the final moments.

With Aidan and his duffel bags full of tube socks and Speed Sticks shipped off, Carrie removes her “Virginia is for Lovers” postcard from the fridge, held up by a banana sticker (probably the banana Miranda ate) and gets all dressed up for a night out with the girls. Carrie narrates the latest passage from her novel saying, “The woman had thought that she and her love were very present but now realized that they were locked in the past. Which meant, of course, that they had no future.”

I feel sad that John Corbett’s character arc had to end this way, I feel like in the great debate over which of Carrie’s original loves was the best, Aidan always edged out Big. But now I’m not so sure. Still, I’m hopeful that Carrie is now free to move on and be herself again after being stifled all season. Hopeful that maybe now, the woman in her novel (which is really just… what, a historical memoir?) can become the protagonist in some smutty erotica when she has a torrid affair with her downstairs neighbor.

Liz Kocan is a pop culture writer living in Massachusetts. Her biggest claim to fame is the time she won on the game show Chain Reaction.