Allergic to fun? How ‘play resistance’ can wreck mental health

Have you traded the freedom of play for the confines of productivity? That bargain may be costing you more than you realize.

According to one expert, unstructured play is one of the easiest ways to boost mental health, relieve stress and reconnect with the nourishing influence of our own inner child.

“Everyone benefits from playing,” Cas Holman, author of the upcoming book Playful: How Play Shifts Our Thinking, Inspires Connection, and Sparks Creativity, told The Post.

He said that adults, in particular, need to engage in activities for the sheer joy of it, as most of us start skipping unstructured play around age 9.

“We’re overly focused on productivity and outcomes, so we don’t listen to the part of ourselves that wants to be silly in a meeting, explore a new route to work, or dance around in the kitchen while we do dishes,” he explained.

When we concern ourselves with what others think, Holman noted, it prevents our pursuit of play — an inhibition that can seriously affect our overall well-being.

“Play is how we learn to be human, how we learn who we are, how we learn to fail, communicate, love, fight, rebel, desire, build and survive,” he said.

“At its best, play is life-affirming, soul-sustaining, and mind-expanding. A life devoid of play is detrimental to our psychological, emotional, and physical health.”

How do you know if you’re “play-resistant”? According to Holman, there are five signs.

Five signs you are play- resistant

1. Your idea of fun is checking things off a to-do list.
2. You feel guilty when you take a break.
3. You can’t remember the last time you laughed without a reason.
4. You think “play” is for kids or weekends only.
5. You’re always “busy,” but never “happy.”

Studies have shown that a playful mindset makes people more adaptable, resilient and creative, while animal models indicate that play can make mammals more resistant to illness.

Most of the adults Holman has encountered in the past two decades want to play but feel out of touch with that part of themselves.

“I’d describe them as ‘play-curious’ or ‘play-hesitant’. They want to embrace it as part of their daily lives but aren’t sure how to,” he said.

For those who want to reconnect with the spirit of play, Holman recommends allotting 10 minutes each day to something that feels fun, not productive.

“Dance in your living room. Draw doodles. Call a friend just to chat. The goal isn’t to accomplish anything — it’s to reconnect with joy,” he advised.

Holman recommends starting with a specific “play memory.”

“Just remembering an instance of play from your childhood will help you connect with the power of play, which in turn will help you prioritize it,” he explained. “You don’t need to clear part of your calendar or take a class (although those can both be fun!)”

Play is not only an action, according to Holman, but an attitude and approach that can be applied to the most mundane of tasks.

“Cooking breakfast can be playful. Throw together some combination of food you’ve not tried before and stay open to where it goes,” he suggested.

“Rearrange your living room and see how it changes the way you live there. Translate for the birds in the morning.”

To further infuse your life with the healthy levity of play, Holman recommends the following strategies.

• Release judgment: “Trust those around you not to judge you- and mostly trust yourself. We can be our own harshest critic. Let yourself play.”
• Embrace possibility: “Be open to what might happen rather than attached to what you expect or know. Being outcome-oriented can make things stressful and not very playful.”
• Reframe success: “Ask yourself what you are really after. Do you need to finish the hike in under an hour, or can you chase that chipmunk, notice the moss, and giggle at strange birds instead? You don’t need to ‘win’ the hike!”