Five ways to avoid common festive season meltdowns

A meltdown-free holiday? A parent can dream. Yet, actually, you can safeguard your family from tinsel time tantrums with this practical guide to common scenarios. It’s not foolproof — what child care method is? — but it can keep the holly-jolly in your holidays.

• Scenario: After a day of shopping and errands, your overstimulated, overtired child has a meltdown in the middle of FAO Schwarz when you say “no” to one more treat.

Try: First and foremost, resist the urge to meet your child’s chaos with your own. So said Anna Levy-Warren, Ph.D., founder of Organizational Tutors in Brooklyn, who instead advised taking a slow breath, lowering your voice and naming what’s happening for your kiddo. Try: “There’s so much to look at today — it’s exciting and also a lot to handle.”

Afterward, step outside for a short sensory reset. “Fresh air, water and a quiet moment can work wonders,” said Levy-Warren, who recommends keeping small supports in your bag: a familiar snack, a comfort item, noise-reducing headphones and a fidget toy. For babies, have a to-go bottle and pacifier at the ready.

• Scenario: Your elementary schooler runs away screaming after you’ve already waited in line for 45 minutes to see Santa at Macy’s.

Try: Again, try that whole “pause before reacting,” thing, counsels Kendra Read, Ph.D., a child and adolescent psychologist and vice president at Brightline. “Take a deep breath and remember that a hard moment doesn’t mean a bad night, week or month.”

That said, planning ahead can help you avert this situation altogether. If you know your child’s patience will run out, bring a few favorite books, snacks, musical diversions, games and the like for while you wait, said Read, emphasizing the importance of being flexible. “Santa isn’t going anywhere. If you need to, give yourself permission to release the pressure and come back another day,” she said.

• Scenario: You’re considering buying tickets for the Met, the Museum of Natural History and “Hamilton” (again) and making reservations at a few incredible restaurants, but your child, tween or teen, is not having any of it.

“Do less, slow it down, and allow for more flexibility and playfulness.”

Kirsten Tretbar

Try: Let “less is more” be your mantra. That, and these sage words from Kirsten Tretbar, family therapist at Tretbar Therapy in Overland Park, Kansas, recommending if you go out for a nice day in the city, at a museum or performance, “make it a singular special event.” We repeat, for the chronic overschedulers and do-everything types: One headlining activity per day.

Tretbar suggested letting each person in the family plan something they really want to do, spreading their selections over several weekends or limiting them to smaller activities you can stack into one day without feeling overwhelmed.

It’s important to accept that you won’t be able to see and do it all, especially in a place like New York City, and that’s A-OK.

“As a therapist who works mainly with families, I always advise my parents over the holidays to come up with some plans to enjoy their time with loved ones, but to also have some boundaries and rest time figured in,” she said. “Do less, slow it down, and allow for more flexibility and playfulness.”

Also, be prepared to split up or leave events early if a family member gets tired, added Tretbar, so you don’t all have to go home if someone hits their limit. “Have plans in place for such events, where you [and your spouse] take turns in case one of the kids (or even you) needs to go home early.”

• Scenario: Your teen refuses to put their phone down as you light the menorah candle, because “it’s whatever.”

Try: Well, the Maccabees’ re-dedication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem after conquering the Greek-Syrian army isn’t “whatever” for one thing, but triumphs and oil miracles aside, everyone has dealt with a jaded teen not wanting to partake in holiday festivities. That’s why Read recommends setting expectations together.

“Make sure kids get a good night’s sleep the night before and a nap before the event.”

Danielle Lindner

“Before the next candle lighting, come to an agreement on when it’s time to be present and why — better yet, make them part of the process to keep them engaged,” she said. “Model the behavior you want to see. When everyone has their phones put away during the celebration, it feels like a family decision instead of a punishment.”

Plus, we promise you that all holiday celebrations are more memorable sans tech. Go the phone lockbox route, or have a designated storage vessel in which everyone knows to place their devices during celebratory time.

• Scenario: You’re hosting a dinner party at the precise moment your toddler has opted to unleash their inner monster.

Try: As a preventive measure, Danielle Lindner, author of “The Parents Pocket Guide to Surviving the Preschool Years,” tells carers to build in downtime before it’s go time, and even do so the day before. “Make sure kids get a good night’s sleep the night before and a nap before the event,” she said.

You should also be wary of sensory overload for all yuletide adventures.

“If you have a child that can’t stand big crowds or loud noises, pick events with the family that may not be too overwhelming even if you think it might be fun,” Lindner said.

Additionally, update the lowly “kid’s table” into an attractive nook away from the din of the grown-ups and load up their stations with coloring books or noise-cancelling headphones to keep outbursts at bay… and, dare we say, create the happiest little holiday cherubs.