NYC has had plenty of mayors — but none like our next one

Honored to know Hizzoner

We’ve had mayors to the right of us — and now way-the-hell to the left of us.

As all civilization knows, I am not one to complain or criticize. But mostly mayors schlep to other countries to get photographed on free trips then — once back — stand in front of microphones to read what some low-leveler wrote for them, then allow a chorus to stand and pose behind them nodding sagely at their non-words before patting the electee on the back and remembering to say how great his wife looks.

We’ve had a few of these mayors — in no order of ability:

De Blasio — excuse the expression — a dud. My apologies to Dudblasio but he rates four oys.

Giuliani. For whom we were grateful and who then cleaned up New York — and who then got cleaned up by Donald.

One-termer Abe Beame left us bankrupt. For chow mein he took me to Brooklyn! The only Chinese place he knew.

A load of deals ago, our very first mayor was Thomas Willett, grabbed two terms. We were Andrew Cuomo-less then.

Along the line came Stephanus Van Cortlandt. The first native-born Hizzoner. What he did, I don’t know. I didn’t come along for another few weeks. He got a park.

David Dinkins, my friend, doesn’t get big thanks — but he was my close friend. Let nobody knock him — he brought us Ray Kelly. Also he’s mentioned as having been the worst mayor.

Best of all the beauties — La Guardia. My late husband was brought up by that man. We have his desk in our home.

Bloomberg was A-1. He stopped the smoking in restaurants. Also he pushed up tennis, Ashe Stadium.

Koch. Terrific. He stopped the financial bleeding of our city, which was nearly bankrupt.

Our most colorful? Jimmy Walker. NYC’s chief executive who mayored from 1926 to 1932. Like Eric Adams, a nighttime guy. Saloons. Speakeasies. Late nights. What either accomplished, not sure. These guys earn $260,000 a year. Walker, however, is now in NY’s Gate of Heaven Cemetery.

So we now got a Mrs. Mayor. She’s 28, Rama Duwaji. Muslim. Syrian ancestry. A Palestinian made her Election Day dress. We’re told, “She shaped him.” We learn she “rages against US imperialism.” We’re told, “She’s an accomplished artist.” When he won her résumé added “accomplished.”

So, what’s a mayor actually do? Oversees the police department, 30,000 cops, which this man wants to limit. Watches the city budget, measly $115 billion. Watches 100 city agencies. Creates public policy. Vetoes bad legislation. Organizes City Council stuff, oversees NYC integrity. Advocates for funds at federal level, oversees public duties, plans budget policy, vetoes local laws, manages federal whatever-the-hells, oversees city and state laws, watches public agencies, administers city laws and micromanages some other things. And that’s all for only Monday.

But we elected him. So congratulations to him. Best to his wife. I certainly hope she reminds him: no spitting, no garbage piling up, no scaffolding, no rats, no roaches, no bicycles, no antisemitism, no free buses, no stealing, no exorbitant prices, no empty stores, no exorbitant rents, no religious hatred, no druggies walking around.

Welcome to New York City, Mamdanis.

---

The oldest human passed on recently. The secret to his long life? A glass of red wine nightly. Should that be true, let us look forward to another someday mayoralty with Eric Adams.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.