Angry groom ‘humiliated’ by bride’s ‘trashy’ wedding prank

He went under the bride’s dress, and couldn’t get over what happened next. 

A groom’s big day turned into doomsday after his new wife and a few friends pulled a “trashy” trick that “destroyed” his trust in the marriage and left him “humiliated.”

“Wife says I need to get over it, but I can’t stop obsessing over a prank that ruined my wedding experience and left me furious,” groaned the gut-punched groom in an anonymous Reddit rant. 

The newlywed explained that the wedding planner convinced his bride and buddies to blindfold him for the garter belt toss. 

It’s a risqué, controversial tradition during which the groom sexily removes an article of the bride’s undergarments — with his hands, tongue or teeth — and throws it to a group of unmarried men for sport. 

But this guy’s garter ordeal wasn’t all fun and games. 

“Sitting in the chair in place of my wife, my groomsman was in shorts with the garter around his thigh,” he whined. “My wife stood behind him and was talking to me as they walked me over, to keep me fooled into thinking it was her.”

“On their instructions, I got down on my knees and began reaching for what I thought were my wife’s legs,” continued the dope. “Once I found the leg, I found the garter and began pulling it down. But at that moment, I heard my wife saying, ‘With your mouth! With your mouth!”

He had no clue they’d swapped his sweetheart for a dude. 

“So I leaned forward and grasped the garter belt in my mouth, to the shrieks and applause of the crowd,” said the groom. “With the garter in my teeth, I pulled it down his leg…Once I had the garter, they told me to stand up and take off my blindfold.”

“When I took off the blindfold, everyone burst into even louder laughter,” he recalled in misery. “For a moment, the entire energy of everyone at the wedding was focused on nothing besides laughing at me, at me being the sole butt of the joke.”

“It felt awful.”

And it seems awfully hard not to feel awful after being bamboozled during one of the biggest, most memorable moments of one’s life. 

Be it the cake-smashing stunt or deliberately dunking the bride in a pool for a laugh, wedding day pranks often indicate glaring “red flags” in the relationship. 

The garter-duped groom says the gag, “destroyed my trust and sense of intimacy” towards his wife. 

Committed to keeping spirits high during the nuptials, the embarrassed gent plastered a phony smile on his face for the duration of the reception party, “sucking up” his shame. 

But once on their honeymoon, he hit his bride with the “harsh” truth about the embarrassing hoax. 

“After at first apologizing a bit, she got upset and left me sitting out there,” he confessed. “I think I just kept going because I felt hurt and wanted to maybe make her feel bad as well, to be honest.”

“Since then, it’s been a difficult subject,” added the wounded. “I’ve told her I don’t want to hear about the wedding. I don’t want to write thank you notes, look at pictures. If it was tomorrow, I wouldn’t make plans to celebrate our anniversary.”

But she is not the object of the grudge-holding groom’s ire. 

“Watching the video, I find myself looking at the laughing faces of family and friends, and there’s a part of me — that I’d never act on — that wants nothing more than to punch them all in their faces,” he said, also admitting that he now “can’t stand” the groomsmen who pretended to be the bride for the joke. 

“I literally cannot stop my mind from replaying it over and over, and I get mad again every time,” the grump grumbled. “I tell myself sometimes it was assault because I was tricked into putting my mouth on another man’s leg [without] my consent.“

A faction of social media sympathized agree with the groom’s unyielding anger, urging him to seek therapy, consult a divorce attorney and consider suing the wedding planner for masterminding the mess. 

However, other, less compassionate commenters suggested the sulking sap “wash the sand out of [his] vagina” and let it go, to which the tickled groom laughed, “Ha. Fair play.”