Jaclyn Stapp Breaks Down Life After Marriage (Exclusive)

After nearly two decades of marriage, Jaclyn Stapp is entering a new chapter — one filled with challenges, growth, and purpose.

In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, the 44-year-old philanthropist, author, and mother of three opens up about her pending divorce from Creed frontman Scott Stapp, the realities of co-parenting and and the mission that’s helping her heal and move forward.

“I never planned to be a single mom,” she tells PEOPLE. “But neither did I plan to discover how strong I could be. Some days I cry in the car. Some days I feel like I’ve got this. And I’ve learned that both are okay.”

Jaclyn and Scott, 51, share daughter Milan, 18, and sons Daniel, 14, and Anthony, 7. Scott is also father to Jagger, 26, from a previous relationship. Navigating co-parenting while managing three kids with different needs and schedules hasn’t always been easy, Jaclyn admits.

“It’s not perfect. There are decisions to be made, and young children trying to process everything,” she says. “They’re still navigating the grief of the divorce. But the focus is on them. I try to give them consistency and honesty. I want them to have their own voice and feel supported, no matter what.”

It’s a philosophy rooted in her own upbringing. Jaclyn’s mother, an immigrant and single mom of five, worked three jobs to keep her family afloat. “She always emphasized education and giving back,” Jaclyn recalls. “She gave even when she had nothing. That shaped me.”

Inspired by that legacy, Jaclyn launched CHARM in 2014. The nonprofit’s mission is to empower underserved youth through education and confidence-building. Its flagship event, an annual back-to-school drive in Tennessee, now serves over 1,000 children each year with backpacks, school supplies, clothing, and free haircuts.

“Kids walk into school feeling confident, feeling seen. That first day sets the tone,” she says. “We all remember wanting to look and feel our best on day one.”

Her own children are involved too. Milan, now CHARM’s youth president, gives speeches and helps lead events, while her younger brothers assist with distributing supplies. “It’s a family effort,” Jaclyn says. “We’re bonding while giving back.”

One memory that’s stayed with her is of a single mother of four, surviving on just $8,000 a year. “We helped with school supplies, hygiene products, job interview clothes — even diapers,” Jaclyn shares. “She’s now employed, and her kids are thriving. That’s the kind of impact that fuels this work.”

But the emotional toll of everything — the separation, the pressure of parenting, and the needs in her community — is real. “There are days when I doubt myself, when I feel overwhelmed,” she says. “But then I look at my kids. I think about the families CHARM has helped. And I get back up.”

She tries to be open with her children, especially as they adjust to the new family dynamic. “I want them to know it’s okay to talk, to ask questions. I don’t have all the answers — especially when it comes to their dad — but I do my best to listen,” she says. “They’re kind of the casualties in all of this, and that’s something I never forget.”

Looking ahead, Jaclyn hopes to expand CHARM into other states and hand off more leadership to her children and other youth. “They’re learning that the world doesn’t revolve around them,” she says. “They’re learning what it means to lift someone else up.”

Even in the hardest moments, Jaclyn holds on to perspective — and hope. “You don’t have to be perfect. You can break down and still be strong. You can struggle and still show up for your kids, for yourself, for your community,” she says. “That’s what I try to model for my kids — and what CHARM is really all about.”